I am spending this summer at home from seminary, thinking about it all, reading, and hoping for clarity. My heart has indeed unlocked somewhat during this year, in spite of some painful family complications.
After seeing Serene Jones, Gary Dorrien (Union Theological School), and Jonathan West on Bill Moyers' last show, I went running to the UTS web site. Drs. Jones and Dorrien were talking about how their students differ from previous years, they demand what is 'real,' are breaking the old theologies and rituals, committed to social justice and love, matters of the heart. These professors seemed proud of this. I was excited - a lot of what they were expressing seemed to match my own inarticulate searching as a seminary student, and it is not clear if my own school is as enthusiastic about this emerging redefinition of religious activity.
What I do know is that there are people who are uncomfortable, dissatisfied, with the expression of spirituality that is possible within the current form of our Meetings and churches. Many new forms of 'worship' groups are appearing, experimental groups of people from all denominations across the U.S.
What I also know is that I am still a bit lost in terms of how I want to express my own spirituality. As soon as I start to put words to it, my mind starts complaining about lack of content while my heart shrinks back a bit. It is as if I am afraid to hope.